Tag Archives:Shannon Funk

jennifer love hewitt got dumped

jennifer love hewitt got dumped


Jamie Kennedy is apparently banging his ex girlfriend on the side, Shannon Funk (Fuck), whoever the hell that is. And if you didn’t see this coming Jennifer Love Hewitt, then your fucking blind. That’s what happens when you go out with a douche bag, you get d-bag results. And not the kind that scream “fuck my ass because your the biggest dick ever attitude.” According to FOX, shes fucked:

“Jamie is still hung up on Shannon and has been telling her that,” says the source. “He also told her he had zero desire to go to the Tao event with [Love Hewitt], but Jen insisted they go together to put rumors to rest. Jamie decided he at least owed her that, so he appeased her and accompanied her to the event even though he’s pretty much checked out of the relationship.”

It sounds like Love Hewitt is not totally in the dark, however, according to Jamie’s pal. “Jen knows things have really changed with them, but the public appearance is all part of her damage control plan. Unfortunately for her, it doesn’t seem Jamie is going to stay with Jen ultimately.”

I told Love Hewitt that anal never hurt anyone, and I know Jamie is officially gay and hangs out with Perez so what do you really expect. Thats when I come over Love’s house and show her how real men act on the hottest girls on the planet. We run the train on them constantly till I cant feel her vagina. Then I wait for her to get up and look at me, like she just had an orgy with 10 men, when its just me and my biceps crushing that ass. I wonder if she heard of the donkey punch game yet..

david letterman: i hurt my wife horribly



I guess after last week show Dave must of went home and his wife took out her Louisville slugger and pounded his nuts to an ER pulse (like John Goodman in The Big Lebowski). And after smashing his head with a frying pan for about an hour, he started to feel bad for her. That she has to keep banging his wrinkly penis, while he bangs the hottest 19 year old piece of ass every week on his show, hired by himself, of course. Then David Letterman admitted on tonight’s show how his wife Regina “has been horribly hurt by my behavior.” David continued by saying, “If you hurt a person, and it’s your responsibility, you try to fix it … so let me tell you folks, I have my work cut out for me.” This is only because she smashed him in his nuts and head repeatedly, otherwise we would probably never hear about him having a wife or a 19 year old assistant (that her only job is swallowing, the asst. not the wife).

jennifer love hewitt dumping her douchebag for me

Jennifer Love Hewitt dumping Jamie Kennedy


Word on the street that Jennifer Love Hewitt saw me walking around the streets of Hollywood with mythical powers in my man guns (she ran up to me) to show her that Jamie Kennedy has been cheating on her with his ex-girlfriend, Shannon Funk.

According to my left nut and to Wikipedia shes the same chick that (I bang last night by accident, she was coked out, so anal was the easier route) was Britney Spear’s assistant when she was batshit crazy and shaving her head while eating her tampon.

So its safe to say cellulite ass (Love as she likes to be called) is with me tonight for extreme ass pounding from behind by me to get her back into shape. I am taking her calls for her and cashing her dividend checks from Ghost Whisperer, and I changed my name to Chad for security purposes. We are getting married tomorrow to fuck over Shrek Kardashian’s wedding. Life is good.